TFA: Chapter 16

In chapter sixteen, Nwoye leaves Okonwo's household and joins the Christians. When asked by Okonwo's friend Obierika, "How is your father?" Nwoye answers, "I don't know. He is not my father." The book mentions that Nwoye answers this question unhappily. Why do you suppose Nwoye is not proud of breaking his tie with his father? After years and years of living together, Okonwo and Nwoye have grown further and further apart. What is it do you think that Nwoye wants from his father? Affection? Acceptance? Okonwo gives everything Nwoye needs-food, shelter, work-and plans to give all his wealth to him when he dies. Why is it that Nwoye is dissatisfied with his father enough to disassociate completely with him?

One Day in the Life

One Day My Life

My name is Ella, but that doesn't really matter.

I wake up in the morning.

I shower.

I brush my teeth. No more toothpaste…
I comb my hair.

I cook and eat oatmeal. It’s warm.

I drive to work.

This is my morning routine.

I arrive at the store.

I put on my work shirt.

I sell products to customers.

My boss mentions sports.

Lunch.

I sell product.

I sell product.

I sell product.

Break.

Customer flow slows. It’s afternoon, not many come around this time of day.

I look around the nearly vacant store.

I am here alone. Just me and the boss. The boss is watching. I must not look restless.

Work is almost over.

Boss asks me to stay to help take inventory.

I can’t say no.

We count.
I count.

One, two, three.

One, two, three.

This is my workday.

I drive home.

There is traffic.

I listen to the radio.

This song was just playing.

I think about my sister.

She is in college.

I talked to her last week.

She seemed happy.

I feel old.

She is young.

I am trapped.

I am trapped in this car.

I am trapped in my life.

This is my drive home.

I am home.

I do laundry.

I watch the clothes spin.

I watch the news.

The government is trying to pass a bill.

Someone died.

Amber alert.

A foreign nation in trouble.

Nothing new.

I watch a sitcom.

Everyone laughs.

Even me.

I make dinner.

It’s the same every night.

Chicken, rice, and salad.

This is my evening.

I get into bed.
I watch the flickering television.

I have no dream.

This is my day.

Things Fall Apart: Chapter 1

Albert Chinualumogu Achebe's Things Fall Apart opens with an immediate contrast between father and son-one of their differences related to finance. The son, Owankwo, appears well off and "successful" while the "grown up," Unoka, is "a failure." Owankwo seems resentful that his father didn't leave him a barn or other wealth, but instead left the world with just as many chalk marks on the wall as when he was living. To Owankwo, wealth seems to be a critical measure of success, while the father seems to get his joy out of interacting with others and playing his music. Which is more valuable? Is being rich and "successful" synonymous with being well respected? Unoka, although looked down upon for being a debtor, is treasured even by other villages for his musical talent. Does this society seem to treasure music and art, or only war? Is the son's definition of "success" correct?

Suits: Thin or Thick?

Everyone has a ‘suit,’ an outer covering that we present to others in order to conceal certain aspects of our true identity. For the vast majority of non-superheroes, these suits are composed of actions and seeming personality traits instead of “fwame wesistant” materials. Some individuals have thicker suits than others. I have met a few friends who seem one way when I first meet them, but as I have more and more one-on-one time with them, I realize that beyond the superficial projections, he or she is someone else completely. I would describe these individuals as having a “thick” suit. For a variety of reasons, the individual chooses not to reveal their true identities to others. Some are afraid of judgment, others are just used to acting a certain way and it becomes routine.
Other individuals have thin suits. They are who they are—meaning they know themselves well and are not hesitant to project to others who they are. When I have one-on-one time with a thin-suited person, the situation has a different feel entirely. I have found that, while of course I can have fun and light-hearted moments with my “thick” suited friends, it takes more effort to find comfort in that type of situation; whereas with my “thin” suited friends, I am almost always at ease.
I feel that spiderman is a thick suited individual. He feels that he must project an image (in this case, heroic and concerned for the welfare of others), yet he actually yearns to do other things—things that would make him personally happier. I find that thick suited individuals often find themselves in situations that aren’t right for them. Usually these situations are gotten into because the individual feels the pressure of outside influences more heavily than a thin suited individual would. Often, it is a lot more difficult for a thick suited individual to make a major change (from spiderman to a racecar driver) than it would be for a thin suited individual (who would be loving what they do already or be in a place that’s easy to discover it).
I feel that when I started high school here, I was a thick suited individual. I found it difficult to “be myself.” Because of this, I think I projected an image that was different from who I really am. Over the years though, I feel I have changed into thin-suited individual, and I am greatly glad I have. There are 2 specific examples that stand out in my mind where a review of my “personality”, by others, was done and the results were different.
One of these instances was in my junior year, attending the JLP training weekend. We did an exercise to find out “how others perceive you.” Each person in the room had an envelope with their name on it. The envelopes were passed around and cards were put inside. Each card had 3 adjectives on it. There were about 30 people in the room and every person had to give 3 adjectives about each other person in the room. Everyone got his or her cards and reviewed them. Mine had many adjectives on there that I wasn’t familiar with. A lot of words showed up that I wouldn’t use to describe my true self at all. Nevertheless, it was an interesting exercise.
The second of these “review” exercises happened about a week ago in my Advanced Acting and Directing Class. An individual sat in the “hot seat” and everyone else in the room wrote down adjectives or phrases that described that particular person. I got my responses back and was surprised at how dead-on everyone was to the way I feel I really am. I thought about the time that had passed between that JLP weekend and now and realized that I think I have become more comfortable with who I am and stopped projecting any fakeness. I still wear a thin suit, but unlike spiderman, I do what I want and am not concerned with color-tv stealers and “gubbners” because that’s not how I want to live my life.

Reviewing the Contents of my Personal Bookshelf

In an effort to be more frugal, to take better care of my belongings, and getting organized for my eventual college departure I have been trying to clear out the "clutter" in my room. I started this weekend and did a major cleaning of my bathroom (my mom was so proud) and started going through all my books. I realized that almost half of my personal collection could be given away and I wouldn't miss it (that will be going to Goodwill).

The books in this first group included birthday or christmas present books that I ended up not caring for and required reading for some of my middle school and pcds high school classes that I didn't care for.

The second group though was what really got me thinking. These books are ones that I feel have brought valuable insight and knowledge into my life. Many of the books that were on my most memorable list I am keeping. These are books I want to lend to my brother to read one day in hopes that he will enjoy them as much as I did. Other books in the second group are gifts or purchases that I have not yet read, but plan to someday. Some of these titles: The Color Purple, A Room With A View, A Midsummer Nights Dream, Sophie's Choice, Into the Wild, Essential Neruda, and the Elements of Style.

I realized that each of these titles on my shelf now have taught me a lesson I deem valuable: whether it be to always explore garage sales (Dogs of Babel) or to not care about what others think of your big pink house (Secret Life of Bees). Kind of a fun way to spend musing my Labor Day Weekend :)

Antigone: Both Must Bend or Both Will Break

In Sophacles’ classic tragedy Antigone, two different approaches to injustice are shown: one in the play’s protagonist Antigone, and one in her fiancé Haemon. The play beings with Antigone’s declaration to her sister Ismene that she will not only break Creon’s law, but also do so openly and defiantly. She does so, earning her the death penalty for her crime. Her fiancé, Haemon, in an attempt to do what is right, attempts to use his gift of reason to negotiate and try to come to a peaceful conclusion. Antigone displays not only conflict between Antigone and Creon, but also juxtaposition between what it means to bend and what it means to break.

Peaceful moderation efforts like Haemon’s in Antigone have been historically proven in some cases to work. The Greeks in the time of Sophacles surely related to Haemon’s plea for sense; Haemon explains to his father, “the gods endow a man with reason” (37). Haemon’s plea falls to deaf ears though, for his father is unwilling to hear the will of people of Thebes and “bend” (38). When the opposing party (i.e. Creon) is flexible, peaceful moderation efforts become possible and are often successful. A contemporary example being the successful efforts of the leaders of United States and the Soviet Union during the 80’s and 90’s to resolve the conflicts of the Cold War. When both parties are willing to bend, no one has to break. But when one refuses to bend, then one or both will break. In Antigone, Haemon’s efforts to bring peaceful resolution are lost to the inflexibilities of Antigone and Creon. Emotions become high powered and overwhelm reason—a contemporary example of this situation being China’s control over Tibet. The Chinese unquenchable thirst for power and absolute refusal to allow the traditionally peaceful Tibetans to practice their religion and culture. The previous rightful leader of Tibet, the Dalai Lama, has traveled the world with his message of peace and moderation. He has, on numerous occasions, attempted to negotiate with the Chinese government to restore the Tibetan way of life. Like Haemon, many activists for Tibetan peace are looking out for the interests of both parties. Peacemakers have tried to offer to keep China in control of foreign affairs of Tibet, but allow Tibetans to control domestic ones. China, like both Creon and Antigone, has shown itself to be unbendable on this issue, and because of that unbendalbility, Tibet is breaking.

In the story of Antigone, both parties, instead of bending, break apart. Although Antigone’s stance is right, it almost doesn’t matter. I feel her unwillingness to bend as a sign of pride. Unlike Haemon or Ismene, she never went to Creon herself to express that his law was undermining the gods. She decided that it would be a battle when it didn’t have to be. Creon is equally wrong in his inflexibility. He listens to neither his son nor the leader of the chorus. Thus, because neither bends, both break. Antigone is a tragedy because of just that.

Books I Read Over the Last 6 Months

Since my 4th quarter and summer were a little different than the other kids in my class, I will list the new books I read in the past 6 months:

EBC:

-The Poinsonwood Bible--haunted my dreams.

-Native Son-I read this in about 3 days, it was so good.

-A Walk to Remember-really sad!

-About 10 Issues of the Economist and about 10 issues of really trashy gossip magazines (People, In Touch, etc.) These were delivered by helicopter along with fresh veggies. (The helicopter comes in to rescue someone. The helicopter would normally arrive to basecamp, so our friends back in the city sent us presents to make up a drop-off load)

-The Sun Also Rises (Junior Year Req. Reading)--I didn't really like this one

-The Great Gatsby (Junior Year Req. Reading)--LOVED IT

-Staying With Daisy-cute romance novel I picked up at this really neat secondhand bookstore in the city

Home:

-Secret Life of Bees (Reread)

-Lovely Bones (Reread)

-Time Traveler's Wife--I am about halfway through, really wonderful so far!

Memorable Books

1) Native Son, by Richard Wright: Not only did Native Son's plot keep my on the edge of my seat, but it's historical connections really interested me.

2) Lord of the Flies, William Golding: I read this book in a middle school lit class. The idea of isolation from civilization fascinates me. What if the island had been girls only?

3) How to Have Style, Issac Mizrahi: This book has a really interesting take on how to find your personal style in clothing. Instead of focusing on what items are "necessary" in one's closet, designer Issac Mirzahi focuses on methods for finding your individuality. I respect how his book about style is not one that focuses specifically what you need to buy, but rather realizing what makes you look and feel best.

4) Macbeth: Dr. Allison classic. I loved the drama in this book. This was also my first Shakespeare novel, so it holds a special place in my heart.

5) The Cold War, John Lewis Gaddis: This book explains all the confusing and conflicting aspects of of the Cold War so well to someone like me who knew nothing about it before opening the book. It is really clearly written and isn't as dry as some other history books I have read.

6) The Color of the Water, James Mcbride: This is another book I read in my middle school lit class. I loved the way McBride interlaces his own story with that of his mother's.

7) Animal Farm, George Orwell: This animal-human analogy was so cool and unlike anything I had ever read before--also, another middle school lit class book.

8) The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne: A fourth middle school lit class book. The village people are so ruthless!

9) The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver: I read this at EBC, usually at night curled up in my sleeping bag, trying to stay warm. While reading, this book became my dreams.

Color Psychology in the Secret Life of Bees

A prominent aspect of the Secret Life of Bees was its incorporation of color psychology. Before her time at the with the Boatwright sisters, Lily is confused about her feelings towards blacks as well as her feelings towards her own femininity. I believe that the “Pepto-Bismol” color of the Boatwright sisters’ house aided Lily in her transformation.

According to Color Matters, pink has a tranquilizing and calming effect on a human being. “Even if a person tries to be angry or aggressive in the presence of pink, he [or she] can’t,” making pink a common choice for the color of prison cells. Pink is fusion of white, representing purity and innocence, and red, representing emotional intensity and often love. The combination of these two colors creates pink, which, beyond being tranquilizing, is also associated with femininity. Noting its two parent colors, I think Kidd’s use of pink as the color of the sisters’ house connotes that the women inside it are not only natural and pure in their womanhood, but also strong and passionate.

At the beginning of the novel, Lily expresses feelings so intense that she feels the need to express them through self-harm—“picking scabs off [her] body and, when [she] didn’t have any, gnawing the flesh around my fingernails till [she] was a bleeding wreck.”[1] I think her frustrations subconsciously led to her wanting to see the color of her red own blood, expressing her emotional intensity unhealthfully through the act of hurting herself. Lacking the guidance of her mother and feeling the strong influence of her abusive father, Lily feels lost and unfeminine. As she says in the beginning of the novel, “[She] felt half the time [she] was impersonating a girl instead of really being one.” Lily especially feels sad that she has no one to share the pride of her new “rose-petal” stain with (signifying her official womanhood)—only reinforcing that she feels that her femininity is stifled.

When Lily begins to live with the Boatwright sisters, she not only learns how to express emotions in a healthy way, but also she begins to appreciate her own femininity. Through these two changes, Lily is able to leave her feelings of racism behind her. Beyond the direct interactions with the uncanny Boatwright sisters themselves, I think Lily’s living in the Boatwright sisters’ unconventional pink house aided her in her transition. As previously mentioned, pink is a tranquilizing color. Lily already had red in her life—strong emotions and the indicator of womanhood, her ‘monthly visits.’ What Lily lacked was some of the associations with the color white: the purity and innocence that are often associated with youth. I interpret the loud presence of “Caribbean Pink” to help flush out the strength of the emotional intensity (red) in Lily’s life. I think the pink house, full of colorful women, helps Lily to accept her femininity by association. Through loving the uncanny sisters, Lily also learns to love Zach, a big step in admitting her own femininity and overcoming her racism.

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[1] Kidd, 9.